Existential crisis, loneliness, hope, and hopeless
Ever pined for someone beyond your grasp?
Wished for their body intertwined with yours?
To spill their ambiguous and concealed thoughts,
For them to be present at midnight during your melancholy?
Pining for those, who see through you
Either inadvertently or intentionally
Is a dwelling of despair and desperation,
You will not elude effortlessly
Heartbreak from a tangible source,
You know the inception and conclusion.
Heartache for a being who is incorporeal,
The implied potential is eternal and imagined.
– with love from a hopeful specter
Eyes glazed, looking downwards at your phone
I assume in the stillness, I’ll take a bite of my dinner
It’s been 20 minutes and counting
My tongue feels like it’s full of splinters
Chemistry is about interaction
And I’ve got nothing to say
Brain full of thought
Nothing will escape
We should presumably stop
While we’re ahead
Before one of us wakes up
Wondering why the fuck am I here?
– a steep barricade
At times, I want to
Launch myself into the stars
And finally feel nothing
And be at peace
This isn’t a suicide note
There’s no need to intercede
I am longing for so much,
It’s killing us both
-The Big Empty
Finding air to breathe is hard
When the wind’s knocked out of you
When there’s no longer room
For everything else has clouded my lungs
Pretending I’m not gasping for air
Is like a white knuckle ride
Tense and alone
In the middle of the night
– Breathing is hard even when it’s easy
Ríos de ácido, envenénenme
A muerte, me llevare esto
Llevándose todo conocido
A aquellos más listo que yo
Por esta noche, me caeré
De la Gracia y Estrellas
En la oscuridad de la noche
En la medianoche bajo luna nueva
Esta cripta me contendrá
Tanto con desees
Porque siempre so fiel
Al calor de tu beso
– XIII: Muerte y Secretes
I severed our connection because
I couldn’t keep my heart together
You severed us because
Your heart was someplace else
I will let you atone
I will let you amend
But I still need you
And it shatters me
I still love too much
I still lay awake and cry out
I still feel you in my heart
I still wish you were here, with me
I know it’s poisonous
I know it’s irrational
I’m in over my head
And that’s why I need to leave
Maybe if I put some distance from you
Time hasn’t lessened anything for me
You get to atone, but I can’t
Tell you how I actually feel
– Atonement for You, Exile for Me
Sometimes I awaken before the sun rises
Almost all my senses aroused
Like your scent on my pillow
When I realize it’s just dream leftovers
You linger, even though I’ve done everything
To erase you from me
I wish I could flee this love
I’m so tired of the hurt and ache
– Sleepless I
Everyone I’ve kissed since you
Is a placeholder or sometimes
I pretend they’re you.
They aren’t.
I’m disappointed every time.
They don’t embrace me with the same warmth
They don’t draw me into their ocean eyes
They don’t read my mind before I collect my words
They don’t make me feel anything at all
They don’t pull me out of love with you
And it’s all very tiresome.
– Sleepless II
In My Feelings 